The world is (already) a global village (or even smaller), and Nigeria as a country is ‘fast’ evolving to participate in full throtle on the internet especially these days that  ‘cashless society’ is becoming closer and closer to us.

Social Media has come to stay whether it bothers on issues like journalism (personal or corporate), Personal Matters, Corporate PR, Research, Polls and general interaction. While criticism has come from various quarters as to how it tends to water down the power of one on one physical interactions, except our work and schedules allow for more time (and space) made available, we’ll have to leverage on the alternatives (among which social media is chief because of affordability, flexibility and many other advantages).

So, as an individual or a corporate entity, if you’re not leveraging the 2.0 world, you’re missing out big time. Simply put, it’s a ‘ride or die’ scenario. If you grow significant enough, you’ll need to be out there and be easily identifiable and differentiable, or else, someone will ‘help’ you project the image you’re not pretty soon and you’ll be defenseless

Okay, There are many reasons you should be averagely active online, but that’s really not what this is about. This is for the people that have realized that being visible or even present in the Social Media scene is non-negotiable.

I attended a training last year, having attended a related programme earlier, relating to Social Media and I learnt a few things (yes, a few! I’d downloaded and read a couple of things – and practised a few, yes a few – prior to that).

All our activities regarding social media online can generally be classified into two broad headings namely:

1. Awareness

2. Engagement

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[LONG POST ALERT! BUT IT WILL BE WORTH IT...promise!]

“There can be no friendship, without confidence, and no confidence without integrity” – Samuel Johnson

“7 Habits of Highly Effective People” has proved such an important book for me – almost arguably my best after the bible And so, here’s are some excerpts I’ll like to share on the segment on Interdependence.

Before delving into steps to build healthy and wholesome emotional accounts in all your various relationships, laying the foundation is important.

There are three levels you can operate within every relationship in your life, whether it’s a business, family or friend-related relationship, you are either DEPENDENT, INDEPENDENT OR INTERDEPENDENT, and maturity grows in that order.

Being dependent is not a bad thing in itself, but we must seek to grow beyond it over time. A new born baby is completely dependent, but as he or she grows into a man or a woman (or even before then), there’ll be the opportunity for growing to be independent and then interdependent (essentially the Win-Win type relationship).

It is also worthy to mention that Independence can be defined in different ways by different people, and there’s a pseudo independence that’s even worse than dependence, for example when a teenager runs from home or leaves before he or she has attained an ‘age’ of maturity where he or she can be truly responsible with life and its demands, many wrong things happen – things that would have been avoided had the individual remained ‘dependent’ under a ward.

(Reading “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People” will shed more light on these three levels)

Below are some of my notes/excerpts from a portion of the book:

• Effective Interdependence can only be built on a foundation of TRUE independence. Private victory precedes Public victory
• You may try to lubricate your social interactions with personality techniques and skills, but in the process, you may truncate the VITAL CHARACTER BASE
• Interdependence is a choice ONLY (truly) independent people can make
• We might have some degree of success when the sun is shining. But when the different times come – and they will – we won’t have the foundation to keep things together.
• The most important ingredient we put into ANY relationship is not what we say or do, but who we are
• Interdependence opens up worlds of possibilities for deep, rich meaningful associations, for geometrically increased productivity, for serving, for contributing, or learning, for growing. But it is also where we feel the greatest pain, the greatest frustration, the greatest roadblocks to happiness and success. And we’re often aware of the pain because it is acute

The Emotional Bank Account

• An emotional bank account is the amount of TRUST that’s been built up in a relationship. It’s the feeling of safeness you have with another human being
• If I make deposits into an Emotional Bank Account with you through courtesy, kindness, honesty, and keeping my commitments to you, I build a RESERVE. Your trust towards me becomes higher and I can call upon that trust many times if I need to. I can even MAKE MISTAKES and that trust level, that emotional reserve, will compensate for it…you won’t make me an OFFENDER for a word or a random wrong action…
• When the trust account is high, communication is EASY, INSTANT and EFFECTIVE
• But with discourtesy, disrespect, cutting you off, over reacting, ignoring you, becoming arbitrary, betraying your trust, threatening you or playing tin god in your life, eventually, the Emotional Bank Account is overdrawn. The trust level is very low…you’re walking on mine fields, I measure every word and every negative (or look-alike) word
• If a large reserve of trust is not sustained by continuing deposits, a marriage will deteriorate
• Your accounts with the people you interact with on a regular basis require more constant investment
• There are sometimes AUTOMATIC withdrawals in your daily interactions or in their perception of you that you don’t even know about, like teenagers under you (sending them on errands like take out the trash…,) if you don’t make enough deposits, when they want to make an important decision in their lives, they will not open up to you. Even your wisdom and knowledge can’t help at that time.

Below are Six major Deposits for an Emotional Bank Account

1. Understanding the Individual

This is probably the most important deposit you’re going to make.  It’s actually critical to the other deposit types. What might be a deposit for you might not necessarily be a deposit for the other, it might even be perceived as a withdrawal if it doesn’t touch the person’s deep interests or needs. Our tendency is to project out of our own autobiographies what we think other people want or need. (more…)

It’s a while I posted – not sure if I’ve done so this year *covers face*. I’m still a blogger sha! I’ll do a post today, part of a book (or book segment review), so please check back tonight or tomorrow morning. (y)

Well, here are some creatives I’ve been up to …viewer discretion is advised

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It’s 4.27am, and I feel like going back to bed before finally waking up in what is looking like a busy and not-so-predictable day in terms of time and places.

“7 Habits of Highly Effective People” is such a blessing! (If you’re religious, dooooh!) *tongue-out*. Wondering how I didn’t really read it before now. Better late than never especially when I can take action that those who read and didn’t take action many years ago.

Okay, habit #2 is “Begin with the end in mind”. The simple analogy is to imagine that your family gathered for a funeral and you saw everyone that was important to you at that funeral, and when you finally had a chance to look into the casket, there you were! Okay, this is Africa, so can you do all the “I Reject it!” before we continue? Oh…you’re already done? That was fast! lol

Okay, so the analogy further states that all the people you considered to be really important in your life were making statements at this your ‘imaginary funeral’, and you heard every single word. From your spouse, to your boss, to your pastor, to your close friends, to your colleagues, to your…. (some lists are endless just fill in the ‘core people of interest’ in your life), they all pass genuine comments about you – how your conducts and behaviours have being a blessing to them (or otherwise). For some, you were pleased, for others…well, not exactly so. And then you snap out of this ‘funeral of yours’ into reality. Finally you have another chance to live in such a way that at your funeral, you’ll have a far more pleasing testimony. Death in this case is the end, and being able to view it before the time, in itself, instructs you on how you’ll be living you life today. There are many “ends”, for example, a football team that sees and values a trophy and all the glory that comes with it will train and play in such a way that you’ll know they’re seeing something others don’t appear to be seeing. But death, by the way, is the ‘ultimate end’ at least on this side of the divide. So living our lives with this end in mind will revolutionalize our various lives. We’ll be able to place the right value on those that truly matter to us, and we’ll deliberately do the things that will earn us ‘good points’ in their books. (more…)

I see work as something done unto the LORD. God has set a system in place where work plays a key role in the fulfillment of his purpose and assignment for me, therefore I take my work with utmost seriousness, doing it with all my heart. I’m not a workaholic, ignorantly consumed by work and worldly ambition; I only recognize and take the correct posture of diligence, seeing that who I’m actually seeking to please is my Lord Jesus. My ‘secular’ work becomes sacred because of my understanding and motivation. As I walk in obedience, seeing the big picture, God finds in me industry that fits into HIS big idea. (Col 3:22) (Eph 6:6)

Feasting and enjoying is part of the package after labour. Like all the gifts of God, I look forward to entering the fullness of it all. I harness all the grace that God has made available for this cycle to be complete. I enjoy and will enjoy all the good of my labour…Always! I will not labour in vain nor bring forth for trouble as my work will carry Heaven’s breath (Ecclesiastes 3:13) (more…)

Ok, at the moment, I kinda suck at blogging (with respect to consistency), but hey, as long as there’s ‘life’, there ‘hope!’

Anyway, here are some of the creatives I’ve been up to.

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Okay, I’m WIDE awake tonight…actually it’s 12.19am and I think it’s about time I did another post. If I can coordinate my thoughts into a ‘worthy’ post. One or two interesting things have happened during this ‘post break’ by the way.

May be I’ll just pick a few thoughts together from one of the books I’m reading, “The Pursuit of Wow!” by Tom Peters. The book just has tips on virtually every area of business, but the tips are powerful to say the least. So maybe I’ll do something in that direction (if I’ll do anything).

Anyway, this was just to post a few things I worked on during the break. I need to buy images by the way. When I saw stock images sites that allowed Nigeria, registering my Mastercard (GTBank Naira…) hasn’t been that easy. Anyway, I believe they will figure it out – GTBank normally does *hey, free advert!* lol

Anyway, here’s some:

more below
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I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus…I ordinarily have no worthy righteousness or any right to boast of being pure…every good or righteous deed i do is worth only as much as where it’s produced – it’s the presence of God or it’s just some ol’ good deed that at best will be filthy rags.

I have the Spirit of love – it’s my primary identity in God. I love him because He first loved me…not that I was selfish (I probably was anyway) but it’s even more of a question of ability – i can only love him because he has loved me…he is the definition of unconditional love, pure love…every other love i manifest is dependent on how much love exchange I have with my heavenly Father. My vertical love inspires and empowers my horizontal love. My relationship with my Father puts every other relationship in the right perspective. Tribe, religion, status and other earthly factors are put in their place by the love I get from God that eventually finds expression – no room for sentiments here. The finer and more sincere my relationship with the Father, Son and Spirit is, the more accurately and enjoyably I prosper in my other relationships.

Abundance is not necessarily acquiring everything in the world. Acquiring is part of it, but my father owns the cattle on a thousand hills so I use my faith to access the resources I need per time. I am a steward of God’s resources. He gives me all things to enjoy. He puts resources in my hand to glorify him and distribute or allocate to humanity correctly. I’m blessed…and not just that, I’m a blessing…I have my eyes and heart on the higher calling of being a blessing (like Abraham). God is proud of me because the prosperity he has brought my way and will bring my way will be used in a way to serve the course of the Kingdom in its different dimensions. I am a channel of God’s blessings.

I am on the earth for dominion. Not to dominate my fellow humans or to be intimidated by them but to excercise my sonship – being a carrier of God – in my environment. I’m after taking charge so God can from his throne give me his approval, his nod. My current circumstances are an opportunity to prove that He that in me is greater than he that is in the world. My dominion and fruitfulness is God’s commandment, God’s blessing and it should be my characteristic on the earth. My roots are constantly growing more and more into God and I bear much and more fruit as I submit myself to God’s prunning.

New creation realities are real to me – I refuse to be religious, having a form of godliness and denying the power thereof. God’s grace is ALL I depend on and it’s not just a mental idea. It’s the ONLY way to live truly victoriously in this world . My faith is working for me! It’s first and foremost producing a good report from God and after that subduing Kingdoms, moving mountains and other explosive stuff glorifying God. Zoe is not just a cliche for me…it’s my way of life

God helps me by the power of the Holy Spirit to conform to Christ’s image…

I regularly advance in all these things and I refuse to live the religious life, I embrace, enjoy and minister eternal life. This is my confession…

“And though I have…all knowledge…; so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.” 1 Cor 13:2

It’s amazing how people (particularly Christians) will go to any extent to flaunt and express their new-found or not-so-new knowledge or ‘revelation’, demolishing every person or thing that gets in the way while doing so. Several ‘exhortations’ and words of admonition or rebuke are nothing but poisonous portions served to people we perceive as morally inferior to us. How did we stray this far?

In our bid to be ‘mature’ and be ‘strong meat eaters’, we have neglected certain important elements that are essential in ministering grace. In a bid to be religiously correct, we neglect the weightier matters of the law. Rebuke and hard talk have a place in our interactions – the folks that believe that niceness is an essential will wake up one day and see that they have lived fake lives – but any criticism that is void of love (first to God and then flowing from that to the people ‘where or who applicable’) CANNOT minister grace sir.

Another thing that bothers me is how Christians jump into conclusions about how right or wrong an individual is for taking an unpopular path – the problem lies in us not checking the book and boxing ourselves in religious notions practiced by ‘the fathers’ or the church overtime. That’s where reformers come in. But a reformer in the Christian faith cannot exist without love, otherwise he’ll produce all kinds of impurities with his or her knowledge and may be nothing more than a rebel. (more…)

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit” – Aristotle

Busy. ok, there a ‘busyness’ that is good and I hope that’s what I’m headed towards

I’m (just actually) reading “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” – I think I just glanced through in the past; now I’m reading it proper albeit quite slowly – well I’m reading some other (old) books alongside (How I lost my virginity – Richard Branson, Money won’t make you rich – Sunday Adelaja, The pursuit of Wow – Tom Peters).

In a bid to break the (blogging) silence, I’ll post some of the initial (or foundational) thoughts on Habits.

Fundamentally, we create our habits or character (a composite of our habits) and then our habits (or character) create our world to a large extent. Forming or ‘remolding’  habits is not a ‘microwave’ or ‘magic wand’ thing. It’s a work done in process over some time and requiring a lot of commitment. But once ‘done’, we set ourselves up for continuous success.

To keep this short, let’s go straight to the body of the post. Forming any habit requires the combination of these three elements: (more…)